the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
