Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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