I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
