I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
