i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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