I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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