since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
