I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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