God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
