"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
