i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
