Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
