Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I party with great urgency now.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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