Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
