Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Operation Purity has been aborted
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
