I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My cat gives me a boner
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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