Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
