i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize