she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
