I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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