she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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