in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
