Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Still dying that you shit outside
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
