I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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