I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
