I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
