remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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