Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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