Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
