therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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