Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.

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(407): View more from Florida

He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances

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(970): View more from Colorado

What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk

(1-970): View more from Colorado

That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!

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(530): View more from California

So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!

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