Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Dear god my vagina.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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