there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You may now shotgun with the bride
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize