I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We had to coat check the pizza.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
