I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize