check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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