I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
