Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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