can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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