You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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