I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's never too late to be topless.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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