I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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