Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
