So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
