She said her name was "party"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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