I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I smell stomach acid.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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