I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
