So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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