Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
