I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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