That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
