No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
