she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You were trust falling into bushes
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
