I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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