Im at strip club and am horny
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
a search helicopter?!
I just found a bag of teeth...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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