My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
