i barfeds in our rink
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The adults are the big ones right?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize