he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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