Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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