im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We talked him into tasing himself.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
