hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
